Silver and Cold
by KissofJudas
Summary: -EARLY PIECE- Title taken from the AFI song. Vincent reflects on his life with Lucrecia as he desperately tries to live for one day more. My summaries suck - please just read the story and review accordingly!


It gets harder and harder to walk these steps, my love. Each moment, my lie to you seems heavier in my heart. I look outside into the rain and breathe a deep sigh. The sun was shining when I met you, my angel, but the sun shines no longer on this cursed man. The sun cannot shine on me, after that moment at the waterfall. In the one moment I could have reclaimed you as my own...I told you a lie. It was no little white lie, my angel...it was a great black sin, another to add to my collection.

_I...I came here by day, but I left here in darkness_

_And found you, found you on the way_

The rain falls cold on my back as I step outside. Weather does not bother me any more; I can no longer feel it. Everything glitters with a silver shine, but I do not. I am cold...one with the rain. As I look through the mist rising from the stones, I can see you, an angel in my sight, but an angel only I can see. You are magnificent...in all the glory of the angelic chorus. I stay silent, hoping that the vision will last.

_And now, it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold _

_You, in somber resplendence, I hold_

It does not, and soon you fade away, as it is with all. The people I once called friends no longer stand at my side, and the terrible memories of the past come back to me. My exquisite Lucrecia...I could have changed everything. He stained you with the black tar that was himself, and I pray that if my atonement has done nothing else, it takes that stain from your gown and lays it in my heart...where it will have plentiful company.

_Your sins into me _

_Oh, my beautiful one _

_Your sins into me_

There is a church here, where there never was one before. A single soprano voice floats on the wind, singing a song that reminds me of the season. The leaders of the Planet have chosen a day in late December to celebrate the anniversary of the saving of the world. They call the day Salvatana, a twisting of the word 'salvation'. It may be the word in a different language, possibly Wutainian. The song is a tribute to the Saviors, the group that I was once a part of. The impossibly pure voice flows through me, but cannot touch my heart. You once sang with that angelic tone, my seraph. I set foot in the chapel and the singer's voice catches in her throat, unable to sing in my presence. I glance up. "Do not stop," I plead to the girl. She quickly nods, her honey brown hair falling into her face. She tucks in behind her ears again, and sings once more as I kneel at the rail by the altar. "Bless me, O Powers...for I have sinned," I whisper to no power in particular. "Forgive me, O Powers...for I have sinned. Accept me, O Powers...for I have sinned."

_As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer _

_And I'll beg for forgiveness_

"Hold not the sins of my angel against her...they were not her choice, nor her fate. Send her sins to me, O Powers...bring her sins into my already damned heart."

_(Your sins into me) Your sins into me _

_Oh, my beautiful one_

"Don't say that, sir," the singer says. I had not noticed she'd stopped singing. Light floods the background, and in the long white jacket she wears, however tattered and burnt though it might be, she looks like an angel as well. She is light incarnate...her voice as well. My seraph...her speech mirrors your own.

_Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me _

_As you're longing to sing_

"Say what?"

"That you're damned. You saved us, sir...or at least helped to save us. You can't possibly be damned. The Powers can't send you to the fires after that." I stand and look at her.

"You cannot know the sins deep in my heart, my friend. I am...unforgivable."

"The Powers forgive all, sir." I give her a weak smile and bow a goodbye to her. "Happy Salvatana, Mr. Valentine." I pause.

"The same to you." I cannot be there any further with her, and I walk out. I believed not in reincarnation, my angel, but you stood in front of me in that moment, shining silver as the rain at my feet. I take the memory and embrace it into my heart, cold such that it is.

_So I...I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in cold_

None on the streets give me a second look. I am sufficiently hidden from the public so as to not attract a large amount of attention in the clouded dark of this night. I can drown in their oppressive unawareness on the occasion...but every night, your name is the last word from my lips – an assurance that if I pass on in my sleep, your name might be the sweet taste on my lips in death.

_I will lift up your voice as I sink_

It is a mantra I repeat every night; another hope that I might bleach the sins from your robe of the heavenly choir by tattering my own. I pray that the Powers take your curse of holding that...scientist's sins, if you can call that madman a true scientist. As I finish...I pray that the Powers...and you, my seraph, might forgive me. It is a fool's dream...but it is all I have.

_Your sins into me _

_Oh, my beautiful one, now _

_Your sins into me _

_As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer _

_And I'll beg for forgiveness _

_(Your sins into me) Your sins into me _

My heart is cold as I return to my sanctuary, my prison, my coffin that night. I lie in that amethyst sheath and hear you speak to me. You ask me to sleep. Might I appease you now, Lucrecia?

_Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you_

Look not on me, my seraph; sully not your gaze. I entreat you, my angel...look not on this cursed man, frozen in the hell of this world.

_Cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn away_

Do you ask this cursed slumber of me, my Lucrecia? Do you ask me to close my eyes and let myself be taken away to that world where I must relive every terrible moment of your anguish at the hands of that lunatic? I shall do it...only for you, only as you ask of me.

_Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you_

Am I any less wretched to you then, in fitful slumber, than I am now? I implore you a second time, my angel...look not on me. Your sins, I pray, will come to me this night, and I wish you not to see that.

_Cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn _

_As they seep...into me, oh, my beautiful one, now _

_Your sins into me _

_Oh, my beautiful one _

_Your sins into me_

My plea comes again to these blighted lips. "O Powers...cleanse her through me. O Powers...O my Lucrecia..." My voice breaks. I cannot finish. "Lucrecia...forgive me," I manage.

_As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer _

_And I'll beg for forgiveness _

_(Your sins into me) Your sins into me...oh_

My eyes close, crystal tears freezing on my chilled cheeks. In my last breath, I whisper your name, and drift away, another day dead...only to bring a blackened sunrise on the morrow.

* * *

A/N: I dedicate this to my cousin, for giving me the AFI CD, so that I could hear this song and hear it SCREAM Vincent. Also, it makes me happy that I actually got to put the term "blackened sunrise" into something. That or "blackened sunset" and its sister term "silver shadow" (which is what the SS in my name stands for, it's a nickname) have been bouncing around in my head for a LONG time.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor do I own "Silver and Cold", the song in this fiction. Squaresoft and A Fire Inside (AFI), respectively, own them, though it would be fun to own one or both. I just own the idea...


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